


daffodils and ivy (winding down our arms)

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [31]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 'cause i love that too, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, also in the background are platonic soulmates!yasha & molly, caleb and nott both believe that they're each The Worst and that other is the The Best, i love caleb and nott's relationship so much, it makes the conversations quite fun to write, the bathhouse, they've both got shit self esteem for warnings for that making an appearance, vague allusions to both caleb and nott's past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 10:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: caleb and nott are soulmates





	daffodils and ivy (winding down our arms)

**Author's Note:**

> it's not a huge part, but astrid/eodwulf/bren were all romantic soulmates and no, it wasnt healthy for anyone involved. my poor brainwashed children

Caleb doesn't notice the new mark, not for a long time. After he escapes the asylum, he's too busy trying to push the meltdown he’s having to the back of his mind to inspect his soulmarks. Slowly, slowly, he manages some level of functionality, as the years pass, as he gains a companion in Frumpkin. And one night, in a town so small it's not on any map worthwhile, he decides to rent a room at a dingy inn, and take a bath for the first time in, in, _awhile_.

And that’s when he sees it. The mark. It's a plant, some sort of ivy, a deep forest green that compliments his hair, that twists around his upper forearm like a snake and that he _knows_ wasn't there- before. He checks his ribs, reluctantly, not wanting to see the flowers he knows are there- and sure enough, Astrid’s red amaryllis and Eodwulf's pink rose are still there, intertwined, albeit faded, and he realizes that he has somehow _gained_ a soulmate. 

* * *

  
Nott- it takes a long time for Nott to get up the courage to check her soulmark. She knows where Yeza's mark should be- a pale lavender freesia across her right shoulder whose petals flutter in the wind- but she can't bring herself to check. Because doesn't know what she'll do if it's gone, but she doesn't know what she'll do if it's _there_ , either.

  
But eventually, she's dirty enough that she's willing to camp near a river. She won’t enter it, no,  _can't_ , the familiar rushing noise is bad enough, but she uses a bucket and a stolen rag and they work well enough. And, and,  she can't help but check her reflection in the water and, - it's still there, the same shade of pale purple she remembers, the petals waving in the breeze. but- there's another, further down her arm, almost directly on her bicep. it's- it looks like a daffodil, a shade of yellow that actually looks pretty complementary on her green (coarse, tough, horrible, _goblin_ ) skin ( ~~ _she thinks of Yeza, flipping through an encyclopedia of plants and reading out their symbolisms, “daffodils, for rebirth”_ ~~ ), and people aren't _supposed_ to have more than one soulmate! 

So Nott deals with it the way she deals with the other changes that have disrupted her life recently, and pulls out her flask. 

* * *

  
Caleb learns the goblin that had been unceremoniously thrown into his cell (their cell, now) can pick locks and thinks _this could work_ \-   
Nott sees the human summon a cat from nothing and thinks _I can work with this_ \-   
For a while, they sit in the dark and whisper, mostly about their plan but also about other things. Not everything, not most things, actually, given how cagey both of them are about their pasts, but by the time they're running from a prison on fire, Nott thinks, _maybe I don’t have to be alone anymore_ \- 

And Caleb thinks _just one more day, then I’ll leave_ , and then- 

And then it's a month- 

Then two- 

Then three- 

And Caleb's _her's_ now, 

And Nott's his-, she is-, that is, to say- he will _protect_ her,- 

And they camp in the woods with nothing but their clothes and the stars and nearly starve and _actually_ starve and shoot a crownsguard, then another, and nearly get arrested again (and again, but they’re stronger, now, and smarter, and no longer alone but _together_ )

And they trick farmers and barkeeps and get run out of towns a lot more than Nott ever thought she would-

And then it’s been six months and they meet a group of weirdos. 

And then they _stay_ with the group of weirdos, 

And then theres a bathhouse. 

And- Nott and Caleb have never seen each other naked, surprisingly enough. Caleb is uncomfortable without his dirt, his coat, his layers that keep him hidden, invisible, and Nott, well, she'd rather do a _lot_ of horrible things than immerse herself in water for even a second and it's not as though they're swimming in coin for an inn or a bathhouse, anyway-

But then there's a bathhouse. 

And a pair of very insistent tieflings, who manage to convince caleb, at least, to strip down, somewhat, at least, he keeps the bandages around his arms. Nott refuses adamantly, and bares her teeth and claws when Molly looks to come close, and keeps her rags and bandages, but sets herself down at the edge of the pool. And as she's looking at the group, her eyes skim over Caleb, and she sees- she sees _her_ mark. 

It's not- it can't be anyone else’s, she knows that, knows that mark _intimately_ from the hours spent memorizing it ( ~~although back then it had wrapped around the ankle of a halfling girl, with dark brown skin instead of green, who needed the reassurance that there was _someone_ out there, someone who would love her ~~ ) and she's very thankful that Caleb isn't facing her, that the group is too busy having a water fight to hear her gasp.   
   

She gets up and unsubtly bolts from the bathhouse, heading straight for their inn room, and  once she slams the door closed, rolls up her sleeve.   
   

The daffodil is vibrant against her dark skin, and she thinks (rebirth) and knows that it's Caleb, _Caleb_ is her soulmate, but that can't be possible because she has a _husband_ , ( ~~Veth, _Veth_ , has a husband, not her, Nott is a _goblin_ ~~ ) who is _alive_ , and then she remembers.   
   

Molly, showing off the white foxglove that crawled up the side of his throat and explaining that he and Yasha were soulmates, but they weren't together, _wouldn’t_ be together. Platonic soulmates, he'd called the two of them, Yasha smiling behind him with indigo tulips curling around her ear.   
   

And so she sits down on their bed, and traces the daffodil, and thinks, _Caleb deserves than a goblin for a soulmate, even a platonic one. He deserves better than me_ and is so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the footsteps heading towards the door, doesn't realize she's going to have company until Caleb is walking into the room,   
"Nott-?" he says,

and then he notices the flower on her arm. His eyes widen.   
   

He knows that daffodil. It's a twin of the miniature that resides on his right wrist. the same that he and his friends had pondered over, after learning the meaning of it ( _rebirth_ ), that Trent had praised, ( ~~ _you will be reborn as a defender of the Empire, Bren, you will do great things, Bren_ ~~ ), the same that he had painstakingly covered with bandages, because it stood out, on his pale skin, compared to the rest of him-   
   

Nott is his soulmate.   
   

It makes sense, he thinks. There are few people in this world he cares about now, cares about enough to kill for, and nott is one of the few. ( ~~There are others, he thinks, quietly, traitorously, at night, that might fall into that category as well, but he is not ready to admit it. Not yet~~ )   
   

But Nott is _his_ soulmate. And she deserves better. She deserves more than a broken man, a monster who would- who-, she deserves someone better, someone _whole_ .   
   

"I’m sorry," he says, at the same time the same words leave her mouth,

and they stare at each other.   
   

Because, Caleb, he is broken, he is a monster, he is incomplete,

and Nott, she is ugly, stupid, she is not _anything_ \-   
   

And, and, _they deserve more than me for a soulmate_ -

"What do you mean,-" "Why are you sorry-!"  
   

They start to speak at the same time, and Nott would laugh at the ridiculousness if it were anyone else, anything else.   
   

"So we are soulmates," Caleb says.   
   

"I’m sorry" Nott replies, wringing her hands and hating the feeling of claws.   
   

"Why?" he asks.   
   

"Because I’m a _goblin_ . Because I’m a monster, I’m horrible, and you deserve better," she says with absolute certainty, and the shock of hearing Nott say the things he thinks about himself about _her_ is enough to spur him forward, to pull his best friend, _his soulmate,_ into a fierce hug.   
   

“I do not care that you are a goblin. In fact, I love that about you. You are not the monster in this room, Nott, and it is I, who doesn’t deserve you."

And Nott looks up at him, yellow eyes full of determination, and says, "No, _no_ , Caleb, that's not true, you're a smart, capable man, you're not a monster, and-," she pauses, "Maybe we can agree that we don’t deserve each other and just... keep it at that?"   
  


And Caleb smiles, and Nott smiles back,   
   

And things are resolved.   
   

When the Nein return from the bathhouse, they see Caleb sitting in a corner of the bar, Nott leaning into his side so far she's practically on his lap, and Frumpkin splayed across the both of them. They're playing some sort of card game, and even from here it's clear that Nott is cheating like a motherfucker and Caleb is losing badly, and both of them are enjoying it immensely.   
   

Jester bounces up, the others on her heels, and asks, "Hey guys, is everything okay?"   
And Nott replies, eyes steadfastly on the cards in her hand, "Oh, me and Caleb are soulmates, and I am about to crush him in cards, Molly do you want to play me next?"   
   

And Jester squeals with excitement and sits down next to Nott, while Fjord just gapes at the deadpan delivery. Molly grins widely at the challenge, and ruffles Nott's hair, chuckling at her indignant noise.   
   

And later, they head upstairs to bed down for the night, and Nott curls into Caleb's chest, and Caleb wraps an arm around her, and they take comfort in each other's heartbeats.

**Author's Note:**

> -some of the soulmark flowers have meaning, others i just liked the aesthetic.  
> amaryllis/strength  
> pink rose/gentleness, grace  
> daffodil/(as u may've guessed) rebirth  
> -also, additions to this that weren't relevant:  
> jester & cad are platonic soulmates  
> beau & jester are romantic soulmates  
> fjord & molly are romantic soulmates  
> molly lives


End file.
